I know I already wrote about Eat. Pray. Love. in yesterday's post, but I can't get enough. It's like taking my first breath of air after months of drowning. There are so many passages that I can highlight and pages that can be earmarked. It is my life line and I'm clinging on to it with as much fervor as I have to crossfit.
There is no short cut or secret to getting over heart break; just time. I can't be afraid to let him go, because I will only be making room for something more positive.
12/15/11
I've been sick, so my brain does not function correctly. I don't think I've skipped so many days that aren't the weekend. Yesterday was the first day of I hope many more days that I am taking charge of my thoughts. I cannot control my consequences, but I can control my thoughts and emotions. I have a new definition of soul mate and one that makes so much sense. It helps to understand, because it hurts a little less. Though he may not call me or text me, I know that he will always care for me.
I will allow myself to miss him, to love him and still cry over him. It's all part of the process of healing. I will always send him love and good energy. Yes, I got all of this from one book. This book has become my bible. I don't think I'd enjoy it so much if I wasn't experiencing having my life fall apart. The Universe has something wonderful in store for me and I don't necessarily mean a new guy, but in general. This is my time, my time to discover life, to do things my way, to figure out what my way is and to stop being afraid.
He was my security blanket for 3 years, before him, it was friends, depression and fear. Now I have been stripped down to my bare bone and have only myself to cling to. I have forgiven myself for my mistakes and I'm starting to really love myself. I have been my own worst enemy for far too long. You cannot truly love someone else when you can't even get along with yourself.
I am finally beginning to feel the first ray of peace in my heart. So, I'm doing something right.
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