Break...

"A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life..." 

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas this weekend! I had a lovely weekend with my family.


I have re-posted this quote because I needed a reminder. Things have been left in a negative place and it makes me feel sad. I woke up this morning feeling off and anxious. The first thought that pops into my head is the night Pumpkin passed away. I remembered receiving the phone call right after I had just climbed into bed. Lovely way to begin my morning, isn't it? I remembered how that terrible situation brought us closer together. 


I miss him. I miss my best friend. I miss our conversations, before the distance settled in. I know I'm feeling like this because New Year's is this weekend. It's going to be difficult to start a new year without him as a part of my life. We're in an ugly place and I can't fix it. 


Cleaning your slate is hard when you're in the same place, with the same people and so many memories. I have to be strong now and hold it together. This is the last major climb, at least for this year. I just have to make it to 2012. 


Oh and I've completely given up on online dating - for now (perhaps). I'm just nowhere near ready to meet new guys. Most importantly, I don't want to meet anyone new. Ladies it's important to be honest with yourself, so you don't get into uncomfortable situations. Right now I only have time to focus on myself and how to make it through a day without falling apart. 


Alright kiddies, that's all I have for today. Nothing exciting, I know.