I haven't read a book in a while, until recently. I finally got my hands on Eat. Pray. Love. and it's become somewhat of a life raft. I highly recommend this book, if you are wading in the kiddie pool of singlehood. It's amazingly comforting to read word for word someone else's struggle and to know that she survived.
I don't know about you, but I'm reaching a point of exhaustion. All this flickering on and off is going to burn out my light. When ever I feel as though I am starting to find my footing, I realize it's a false illusion. I am still treading on very thin ice as I struggle to continue to move forward. I need to get a hold of myself and pick myself up. I have to stop trying to figure it out. I have stop trying to understand how you can just cut someone out of your life when they haven't done anything wrong.
Love is rarely fair and someone ultimately gets hurt. I am just tired of hurting. I want to get off the ride, please. I know what I have to do, but it doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't make it easier knowing that you are alone in the suffering. Every now and then it does help to remind myself that he has moved on and isn't sitting at home thinking about me. For the most part though, it's a game of wills and mental strength.
As you may have already guessed, the whole treating him like he's treating you isn't working out too well. I'm just not wired like him. Oh I'm so over writing about this. He doesn't deserve my words, time, thoughts, anything for a matter of fact.
I'm tired of being in my own skin.
Eat. Sounds good.
Pray. I need some of that.
Love. Pfft.
Done.
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