Ahoy!

Why do they insist on printing horizontal lines on tees for us curvy ladies?? Don't they know it only makes us look wider? Sheesh Louise!

I love the Sailor look as much as the next girl, but not to the expense of looking like a whale. It's enough that I have big boobs, I don't need them to look like floatation devices.

Perhaps it'll be safer if I just stick to accessories.

So, I have decided to really put my foot down and make an important decision. I'm already cringing at the thought, but it has to be done.

1 year of celibacy. Yep, you're reading correctly. A whole year of just me, myself and I. It's not like I am anywhere ready to have relations with the opposite sex at the moment. My vajajay is being very particular at this time, so it won't be too difficult.

I'd rather wait until I'm 110% healed, than have sex with someone and cry all over the guy. Not sexy. Let's not even get started with how un-sexy and unappealing I'm feeling right now. I feel good about myself and my weight loss, but it's personal, ya know? It's my own private victory.

Ladies,  you have to give yourself a chance. A chance to rediscover yourself, to reacquaint you with you, to participate in your healing process. I feel like many times we tell ourselves we're fine and jump into another relationship. Many times that relationship also ends and you're left broken - again. A relationship will only work when both parties have their luggage in check.

So, I am giving myself a fighting chance to come out on top - victorious.

I have so many issues that I have dragged from broken relationships into new ones. These issues complicate matters and all of sudden you want things that were never a priority. You want the house with the picket fence for all the wrong reasons. I projected my own failures and insecurities and injected them into my relationship. I am done. A lot of my crazy stems from daddy issues = severe abandonment issues. I am an incredibly proud woman, but not in the game of love. I never learn when to back off and usually become somewhat suffocating. You're probably thinking, ouch lady, no need to put yourself out there like that.

Yes, yes I do. First step to recovery is to identify the issue(s). I happen to have a plethora of issues, thus the year off. I know I am not alone in this and it's comforting.

Tip: Make a list of every little thing that you are grateful for and to. Doesn't matter how silly or random - write it down. Keep it with you and read it a few times a day when you are feeling dumpy. My list is still a work in progress as I think it should be.

Namaste.