The Rules.

In the world of break up you have to be careful how you move around. It is filled with pit falls and sharp turns. First you have the actual break up and then there's everything that happens afterwards. By everything, I mean, the reactions of your friends and family, being on your own, adjusting to thinking in "I" instead of "We".

There is a delicate balance that must be upheld at all times in a break up. It's not enough that you have to deal with your own hurt and broken heart, but you must also make sure to adhere to the rules:

Rule #1: Cut all communication with the ex (biggest challenge)
Rule #2: Lots of drinking and crying (thank the Universe for girlfriends)
Rule #3: Lots of self pity parties (only other heart broken people are invited)
Rule #4 The friends and pets divide
Rule #5 No sleeping with your ex
Rule #6 You must not be in the same place at the same time as the ex (the Universe will explode)
Rule #7 You must delete/burn/throw away all pictures
Rule #8 Go over every pain staking detail of the relationship to see if you missed something
Rule #9 Make sure to look your best, just in case.
Rule #10 No sleeping with your ex

Now, I am more than certain that I have left some very important, crucial rules, but 10 is more than enough. You also have to endure all the cliche advise and related stories. In the mist of all of this,  you have to somehow figure out how to pull yourself together in order to be a semi-functioning human. Let's not forget all the, "Oh, I always had a feeling", remarks from friends and family that apparently didn't feel the need to mention to you before. I am half convinced they say that just to make you feel a little bit better about yourself.

Oh and ladies, if you are the one that had your heart broken, prepare for some mega reevaluating of yourself. In some cases, such as myself, it's pointless because you were never the issue. I'm not sure what happens when you fall in love with the wrong person. Our brain must short circuit, which causes us to stumble along with only emotions as our guide. And that my friends is a recipe for disaster.

As I am slowly making my way through the nightmarish world of break-ups, I am finally seeing some light. Not that I'm too excited, because at the end of this tunnel is the world of dating. That world ladies and gentlemen is inundated with rules, but more scary are the "unspoken" rules. I tremble at the thought. So, I wish you a bon voyage and safe travels!