I am feeling anxious. Opportunity is knocking on my door and I'm wary of opening the door. I believe that situations are put in your path for a reason. I cannot ignore this and risk missing out on something positive.
I have never felt more on the edge of something new. I am literally opening a new chapter in my life and for the first time, I am completely aware of it. Usually, my life tumbles out of control, resulting in a mess. This is a refreshing change, for once.
Perhaps it is due to my openness to the world and fate. I am attracting positive vibes and let me tell you, it's addictive. I have finally learned that my depression was a suffocating cloud, blocking out any chance of growth. Now I'm like a root sprouting up ready to break ground and embrace life. I am embracing my past, present and future, instead of drowning in them. I am ready to take responsibility for my actions and past mistake and I'm being proactive.
As painful as this experience has been, I cannot help but to believe that is was meant to happen. I do not think I'd ever reach this point in my personal growth, otherwise. Of course I wish it could have been different, but one day I will understand. I do not think we will ever reconnect and that sense of loss is what I still struggle with. The lack of concern and detachment have the been the hardest to deal with, but it has helped with the healing.
I have continued with out of sight and out of mind. It seems to be a mutual goal.
Thank god for crossfit, family and friends.
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